Student Twelve

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Comments

[kate]

10 second: this may be due to my personal illiteracy to environmental matters, but i don't understand it. why isn't for everyone? cool illustrations :)

30 second: sweeet! you even have a loader bar! during class, i thought it went a little too quickly, but it seems fine now. i would suggest putting a comma between committed and passionate, but that's about it. nice!

[Allison S]

For the 10 second one, I was a little confused about the "not for everyone?" part because it seems like it's saying that New Roots isn't for everyone since the website appears right after that text.

Your 30 second Flash is great and my only critique is that seeds don't float to the ground like that. I love how you incorporated hand-drawn animation with real video.

[Alison Daake]

10 second: I'm not sure if I like how the plate is cut off at the bottom and I'm confused about why it's not for everyone.

30 second: This one isn't loading, but I don't remember any concerns about it from class.

[Zachary Klotz]

10- your place setting is all off, and its bothering me, seriously.fork on left, knife and spoon on right (knife more inside), cup above on the right.

30- really like the art style. i dont have any problems with it, im trying to, but i cant find anyting

[theresa]

Ditto for the 10 second one-I'm a little unclear on the message. I think you're shooting for irony, but that can be kind of a stretch for slow people like me in a mere 10 seconds. Try wording it differently, more obvious. Maybe "How can food be healthy and safe, Accessible and affordable, But not for everyone? We think it can be." But I love the simplicity of the design.

As for the 30 second one, WHOA, IMpressed. I loved the illustration style, and the way you mixed illustrations with photos, especially when the plant grew in the real dirt, and the drawn people turned into real people.

Just some minor things I noticed--at the very beginning, the "for sale" sign is distracting. I didn't know if I should be looking at it or the other sign, so I missed some of the message in the other sign.

Also, I thought there was an awkwardness near the end when the leafy "New Roots Urban Farm" logo comes in, because I read it, and then read "the harvest is bountiful." Maybe just switch the order--make "the harvest is bountiful" come in and then the cool leafy logo.

[Cameron Ballentine]

10 sec: I'm confused about the "not for everyone" message. And I think you should have the plate in full view instead of having it cut off. Plus having the plate turn is a little unnecessary. It reads more as a steering wheel when it does that instead of a plate.

30 sec: This is really good and I like the merging of the photographs and the cartoon illustrations.

[Chanel Thyson (CiCi)]

ten second ad- i dont get why the plate is spinning... i mean i understant that it is a plate... but i think you could do something else with the words so that they arent spinning...

30 sec- in the scene where the trash is being picked up from the ground... there are people shadows in a couple of them.. The slide that says "and when put" is really awkward because your splitting a sentence up that i dont really think should be split there the word "put" just seems really out of place.

overall good idea. ;)

[Jordan Worcester]

30 sec:
I agree with a lot of what Theresa said. This is a great integration of photo and illustration. There are times when I have a hard time reading the words due to quickness and a lot of them happening on the same scenes. The dotty urbanroots logo does compete with what is being said as it falls into place and I have a hard time reading both quickly enough. I love how the actual logo fades into place though.

10 sec:
I think you're trying to say that it sucks that healthy, safe food is often not affordable and therefore not everyone can benefit from it. I think the price of pom juice is a bit high, so if that's where you're going, i can relate. the spinning plate is a bit glitchy at times and could move slower and even be bigger.

[Andrea Bailey]

10 sec: I think that the plate should be continuously spinning smoothly through all of your words, instead of the pairing you had going on.

30 sec: Cool style, good execution. The only part that really bothers me is the end, when "The harvest is bountiful" and the "New Roots..." logo in plants come in, they don't stay for long enough, and I don't think the green logo is really necessary. I think if you want to us it, you should have the individual plants look like they are popping up from the soil-colored background. But really, I think just a simple fade-in of the regular logo would be sufficient.

[Megan Dowdy]

10 sec: I love the simple illustration. However, I am also confused about why it is not for everyone.

30 sec: I really appreciate the combination of the hand-drawn and real photography. However, I feel like the drawing styles of the logo and your handwritten type quite do not go together. I would suggest dividing "the harvest is bountiful" into a scene that disappears before you arrive at the New Roots logo. I would also refine the tag line on the last frame so that it fits with the logo more.